Abortion Teaches Us to Let Go Like the Trees of Fall
If we are to survive as a species, human beings are going to have to accept that our bodies and the body of the Earth are one and the same. We must engage consciously with the life cycles—the coming into being and going away of life through death—and respect those individuals who are put in the position of making direct decisions about that in specific situations. Life Choices, p. 80 Every fall I am struck by the dying process evident in all of nature. It’s right in front of our eyes at this time of year. Fall is the perfect time to enter into an appreciation of death in life. Where I live the drama is most evident with the turning of the aspen. Quaking aspen proliferate in the mountains near Boulder. They are found on the slopes above 8,000 feet mixed in swaths with the powerful, prolific pines. You can take in the view along the Peak to Peak highway between Nederland and Ward, two small mountain towns about a half hour from Boulder. The trees announce their dying in spectacular splashes of gold. It’s captivating and we stand in awe no matter how many times we’ve seen it over all the years. I love these trees. I also love the way most women make choices about pregnancy; and choices about their lives in general; the way we carefully and deliberately let go of parts of ourselves that no longer serve in order to grow into ourselves anew. Like the trees in fall. Like everything in life really. The dying gives us our living and it is beautiful. When a woman makes a choice to end a pregnancy by having an abortion, she engages with the part of her consciousness that knows the importance of letting go. Sometimes it is difficult and emotionally painful, which is one difference between us and the trees. But, once a woman learns she can stand tall, she is able to step into a sturdier ability to let go more easily. This might happen right away, but sometimes it takes years for a woman to find her confidence and self-respect and to heal from distressing circumstances. Every woman has the potential to face down her fear and doubt and come to peace with abortion. Paying attention to more than human nature can accelerate healing. Go to the earth. Hang out with the trees, especially now during the time of changing colors. Let earth help you find the serenity you seek. If abortion is part of your current field of experience, let nature heal and guide you. The love and comfort you need is available for the asking. All you need to do is open to it. ~ ~ ~ It’s been a year since Life Choices came into the world and I moved into life as a published author. I trust that the book is finding its way into the hands of those for whom it is interesting and healing. However, there is no way for me to know for sure. I still need help and support from you to let people know about it. For example, you could check your local public and university libraries to see if it’s there and if it’s not, ask them to order it. The same with local bookstores, women’s health clinics, and women’s studies departments. You could invite me to participate in a discussion with your book group; or, to give a talk and/or webinar to your class or community organization. It’s not to late to write a review for Amazon or Barnes & Noble online,...
Read MoreThe Beauty of Counseling
Underneath the many valid reasons for having an abortion—reasons prompted by necessity and life circumstances—is the pulsing of a new way of being in our lives, a way based on self-respect, autonomy, safety, and equality. — Life Choices (p.11) The word that best sums up what I see in my counseling work is beauty. The beauty of… — engaging in self examination — acting in one’s own interest in spite of being afraid — releasing fear of judgment and punishment — courageously exploring self-limiting ways of being — changing, transforming, and becoming empowered For some women, having an abortion is the catalyst that turns them towards themselves in ways they have never experienced before. A crisis pregnancy can give rise to the need to entirely re-organize the way a woman is living her life. She finds herself needing to question and come to terms with her relationships, her life direction, and the way she sees herself. Why? Because, in the process of turning back a pregnancy there is a convergence of natural forces that opens doors of perception, feeling, and belief. The forces are like those that gather under the earth and move in concert to push a seedling through the ground and up into the light where it can flower in the warmth of the sun, balance in the fluctuations of wind and rain, and come into the fullness of its own being. Each of us is the same as a seedling, though our consciousness is different. Each of us is moved by natural forces to make decisions in our lives that support the fullness of growing into who we really are. The ground from which we push up towards the sky is the darkness of our origination. Our origination is all that we were born from and with, plus the experiences we have accumulated over the course of our lives. These psychological developments occur with many significant life events, but there is something about the work women do around their abortion experiences that is fascinating and phenomenal. It’s worth honoring. It’s the reason I wrote Life Choices. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. You can comment by clicking on the title of this post, or, if you prefer, just send me an...
Read MoreHonoring The Work of the Goddesses
There is a new play in the world. It’s by poet Annie Finch and is called Among The Goddesses. Annie was kind enough to send it to me to network about our common cause of bringing abortion healing into its legitimate place in life. What a beautiful work of art! It’s on a par with 4000 Years for Choice, Heather Ault’s exquisite art project. I highly recommend you get a copy and see for yourself. The play is built around an epic poem about the archetypical influences in women’s lives. More than anything it’s a journey of personal healing and transformation. Woven through it is the well known goddess chant—Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali… Inanna. A couple of weeks ago, I facilitated a discussion for staff from the four states (Colorado, Wyoming, Nevada, and New Mexico) of Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains (PPRM) at their annual regional conference in Denver. There were 24 abortion clinic managers, assistant managers, trainers, and regional managers in the room. The topic (happily for me) was “Honoring The Work We Do In Abortion Services.” I divided the session between talking about the central issues in Life Choices, and working with the thoughts and feelings of the people there about the importance of their work and how they feel about it, themselves, and each other. These are some of the women and men doing the work of the goddesses. They are the ones bringing the wisdom of the feminine—the Divine Feminine— into practice in daily life because they honor the many-sided, complex life and death issues women have to face when they make decisions about reproduction. They take care of women and their families during times of uncertainty. They help women with their doubt, fear, and isolation when they need the help the most. Most of all, they shepherd women into taking full responsibility for their power in life and thus help them to step fully into themselves. Some of these professionals are angry, and rightly so. It’s hard enough to provide good health care services in the current political climate, but on top of the normal challenges of health care they are attacked and vilified on a daily basis. PPRM in Denver is housed in a large, modern, classy looking building that combines their surgical clinic and the administrative offices for the whole region. But you can’t see the building from the street. It is like a fortress, with eight foot high fences surrounding the building at the sidewalk line. Huge black tarps envelope and reinforce the metal barrier so that you can’t see in until you are in front of the double iron gate at the entrance to their spacious parking lot. They are harassed every day and have been for many years by people over-exercising their free speech rights who scream at patients and staff and brandish bloody pictures. Which brings me back to the goddesses. It’s easier to understand the swirl around abortion and why it gives rise to such extraordinary passion if we embrace the divine wisdom realms of insight, power, and love. These realms give us access to a depth of comprehension and courage that crosses the centuries. It allows us to keep on keeping on, through thick and thin, and when all seems lost. The empowerment of women and the feminine is a function of human and planetary evolution. The evolution is a natural movement of universal forces. The rising of the women is everywhere. It shows up in myriad sectors of society—political, religious, and personal, as well as educational, environmental, and social. But the patriarchy is not...
Read MoreTen Ways to Stay Connected to Life
Doesn’t it bother you that people who hold an extremely narrow view of reproductive health have commandeered the word life? For example, bumper stickers that say Choose Life, are invariably anti-abortion. The pro-choice camp often responds with slogans like Protect Choice. There’s nothing wrong with that phrase, but it might not be the best response because it plays into the idea that somehow those of us for whom legal abortion is a blessing are not in favor of life. Nothing could be farther from the truth. When women choose abortion they are choosing life as much as when they choose to continue a pregnancy. Both choices are life choices. Both choices are considered choices and involve deep reasoning and a lot of heart. The specifics of this is diverse and complicated. Each woman’s relationship to pregnancy involves myriad aspects of her life and life in general. Her ability to bring forth new life from her body encompasses her physiology and her psychology, and… her spirituality. Her judgment about the outcome of a pregnancy reflects an ancient and innate responsibility. We all know this, and yet we are faced with growing extremism in the name of life that denies what actually happens in real life. It’s a little wearying to say the least. The best way to stay strong in the face of this is to stay consciously connected to All Life—the interconnected oneness of existence. This is important for both clarity about our work in the world and for our mental, physical, and spiritual wellbeing. I think it’s especially important this time of year when the stress of the holidays threatens to take over our lives. Here are ten ways you can stay connected to life: 1. Meditate on a regular basis. (Sit in a quiet place with a straight spine. Breathe deeply and normally. Relax.) 2. Take walks. 3. Make contact with non-human nature—ground, sky, plants, rocks, animals. 4. Remember where you are—Earth. 5. Breathe consciously. 6. Make a list of everyone and everything you love. 7. Eat well and drink enough water. 8. Talk with your friends and stay connected with your community. 9. Remember that deeply rooted power relations don’t uproot easily. They change over the long haul and require the courage and persistence of the people seeking change. 10. Remember that the universe and all it manifests is vast. Trust the process. Have a wonderful holiday season. Happy...
Read MoreLife Choices: The Teachings of Abortion-Talking About the Book
Life Choices is taking me on quite a journey. Ideas I’ve been living with for most of my life are now out there in the world making their way into the wider conversation. It’s exciting and gratifying to say the least. My talk and signing in Denver at the Tattered Cover bookstore went well. What an honor to have been invited to that famous place! I loved the conversation with the people who came. Someone asked me about the “pinching of the leaves to let the mother plant grow,” which is the defining statement of Life Choices and was the impetus for me to write the book in the first place. Someone else asked about how spiritual healing happens around abortion experiences. Another person asked me to discuss the connection between nature and consciousness, in other words, why it’s important to spend time in the woods! Finally, another big piece was a question about how to stop the meanest most violent attacks against women’s health services and needs. We talked about all these and more. Heady stuff I know, but it’s all good. I’ll start with the last one first. The main way I know to deal with the virulence of the movement against women’s health needs is to remain active, educated and strong ourselves and never forget how complicated and deep the issues are. Reproductive and sexual freedom goes against the power of patriarchy. The whole idea of women’s freedom is new from a historical point of view. The idea that a woman is an individual apart from her relationship with a man or men is still completely unacceptable in many parts of the world. Narrow religious views that limit the freedom of individuals are still dominant in certain circles. I think it’s best to cultivate compassion in relation to the ignorance and fear that drives the thinking of many anti-choice people. Because the politics is absurd and baffling as well as dangerous and infuriating, we have to remember what is true and real about women’s lives. In other words, stay true to real life. Lastly, each of us has to take good care of ourselves. Moving on to nature and consciousness. A huge subject. The person who asked the question was asking me to explain the value of spending time alone in wild nature; basically, what happens out there? I responded that when you set an intention to spend time in the company of more-than-human nature and to be outnumbered by non-human life forms—animals, plants, and other earth bodies—you will find as you open to their way of being and relax yours, that there is a flow of life force through everything and a natural communication that mirrors your essence and helps you to know yourself better and understand what you are doing here on the planet. There is much more I could say of course, but that’s it in a nutshell. If you are grappling with an unresolved issue in your life such as a crisis pregnancy, you will find a level of support there that you can’t find anywhere else. My approach to spiritual healing after an abortion depends on the person seeking the healing. If someone has a religious affiliation, I encourage her to go talk with someone in her group. If that is not possible, or even if it is, I proceed in counseling by asking a lot of questions to help the person explore her belief system and conflicts she might be experiencing about having decided to have an abortion. For anyone, whether she has a religious affiliation or is independent of religion, or someone who...
Read MoreAbortion Healing, Feminism, and the Earth
I’ve heard from a good number of women and men since Life Choices came out in September. Sometimes it’s about their own abortion healing, and sometimes it’s about their desire for more depth, clarity, and kindness in the public dialogue about abortion. Everyone I speak with expresses alarm and sometimes disgust about the current political battles around abortion. It’s all I can do not to be upended by the severe antipathy of the political debate.There is an urgent need for us to once again fervently and courageously hold our ground. The big lesson is about trusting our own voices. It’s about not being manipulated by people, especially people in power, who claim to have our best interests at heart but who really don’t care at all about our lives. Our real lives I mean, and the real life of our planet. The attack being waged against women is nasty and ferocious, and led by narrow thinking, usually ignorant, mostly male legislators trying to turn back the most basic of services that provide safety and good health to women. And how are they doing it? By hollering about abortion, as if abortion were the worst thing in the world. By speaking of abortion as a life taker when it is really a life giver. By lying about the real lives of women and men. By playing on the fear and embarrassment most people feel about anything related to sex. And worst of all, by pretending they care about women, which they do not, because if they did, they would know not to wipe out services that are essential to the well being of women and their families. The current situation can make you a feminist in an instant. There’s no getting around it. In April, Terry Tempest Williams (one of my favorite authors), felt called to write about the furious attack on our health options. What is good for women is good for humanity. The world’s population is rising as the earth’s resources are being depleted. This is the conversation we need to engage. Tending to women’s reproductive health is tending to the health of the planet. I was on the radio the other day being interviewed about abortion healing and the ideas in Life Choices. The wonderful people at KGNU, our local community radio station, were passionate, intelligent, committed, and supportive. I’m grateful. I’ll do a book talk and signing at the Tattered Cover (Colfax Store) in Denver on Friday, November 4, 7:30 p.m. What a time this is to be re-entering the...
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