Abortion Teaches Us to Let Go Like the Trees of Fall
If we are to survive as a species, human beings are going to have to accept that our bodies and the body of the Earth are one and the same. We must engage consciously with the life cycles—the coming into being and going away of life through death—and respect those individuals who are put in the position of making direct decisions about that in specific situations. Life Choices, p. 80 Every fall I am struck by the dying process evident in all of nature. It’s right in front of our eyes at this time of year. Fall is the perfect time to enter into an appreciation of death in life. Where I live the drama is most evident with the turning of the aspen. Quaking aspen proliferate in the mountains near Boulder. They are found on the slopes above 8,000 feet mixed in swaths with the powerful, prolific pines. You can take in the view along the Peak to Peak highway between Nederland and Ward, two small mountain towns about a half hour from Boulder. The trees announce their dying in spectacular splashes of gold. It’s captivating and we stand in awe no matter how many times we’ve seen it over all the years. I love these trees. I also love the way most women make choices about pregnancy; and choices about their lives in general; the way we carefully and deliberately let go of parts of ourselves that no longer serve in order to grow into ourselves anew. Like the trees in fall. Like everything in life really. The dying gives us our living and it is beautiful. When a woman makes a choice to end a pregnancy by having an abortion, she engages with the part of her consciousness that knows the importance of letting go. Sometimes it is difficult and emotionally painful, which is one difference between us and the trees. But, once a woman learns she can stand tall, she is able to step into a sturdier ability to let go more easily. This might happen right away, but sometimes it takes years for a woman to find her confidence and self-respect and to heal from distressing circumstances. Every woman has the potential to face down her fear and doubt and come to peace with abortion. Paying attention to more than human nature can accelerate healing. Go to the earth. Hang out with the trees, especially now during the time of changing colors. Let earth help you find the serenity you seek. If abortion is part of your current field of experience, let nature heal and guide you. The love and comfort you need is available for the asking. All you need to do is open to it. ~ ~ ~ It’s been a year since Life Choices came into the world and I moved into life as a published author. I trust that the book is finding its way into the hands of those for whom it is interesting and healing. However, there is no way for me to know for sure. I still need help and support from you to let people know about it. For example, you could check your local public and university libraries to see if it’s there and if it’s not, ask them to order it. The same with local bookstores, women’s health clinics, and women’s studies departments. You could invite me to participate in a discussion with your book group; or, to give a talk and/or webinar to your class or community organization. It’s not to late to write a review for Amazon or Barnes & Noble online,...
Read MoreNo Choice in the Election
While we have made great strides toward equality, we cannot rest until our mothers, sisters, and daughters assume their rightful place as full participants in a secure, prosperous, and just society. —President Barack Obama As of today, there can be no doubt that women’s well being and reproductive health are at the center of the upcoming presidential election. The Republican party platform is calling for the outlawing of abortion, absolutely and with no exceptions. Nowhere in the platform language is there anything about women, only “unborn children” and “the individual right to life.” What does this mean? As far as I’m concerned, it means that anyone who considers her or himself real life centered who does not vote for Barack Obama will be in collusion with those who want to turn back the clock and put women and their families in danger. There is no wiggle room here. There is no room for debate. There is, my friends, no choice. From the peculiar “legitimate rape” garbling of Todd Akin to the repetitive, sanctimonious “sanctity of life” pontificating, we are being shown over and over again what the stakes are in the upcoming election. You might not like some of the things Barack Obama has done or not done in his first term. You might be angry and disappointed that he is not more forthrightly and aggressively progressive with regard to the economy and other issues, but that is no reason to ignore the truth of current political realities for women in the United States. If you know anyone who needs reminding about how it was when abortion was illegal, you can refer them to The Worst of Times by Patricia G. Miller. A few years ago I didn’t believe it was necessary to focus this way, but the current rise of political ignorance and vicious attacks on the interests of ordinary people in the U.S. has changed my mind. People are terribly confused, and the slick moneyed class is intent on keeping it that way. We mustn’t be fooled and we mustn’t let others be either. There is only one candidate for U.S. president who is in favor of recognizing women as the arbiters of choice in pregnancy. Only one who recognizes the struggle of women for full equality. Only one who is comfortable expressing strong support for women. Let’s make sure we re-elect Barack...
Read MoreOn Becoming A Published Author
It’s been almost a year since Life Choices came into the world, and almost two years since I was offered the book contract for it. I find myself looking back and reflecting, musing and remembering, and being amazed again at all that has transpired. The book is out there now and being carried along in the fast moving current of daily reproductive health and women’s rights struggles. Every once in a while and often in the most unexpected circumstances, someone lets me know how personally grateful they are that I wrote it. Most of the time I’m not privy to that information, but that’s perfectly okay. I trust that the book is finding its way in the world and that it will move like water to fill the spaces of need. Two years ago I didn’t know much about what goes into bringing a book into the world. Now I do. It’s a complicated process and an incredible amount of work. And it doesn’t end when the book comes into print. Actually, that’s when a lot of the major work begins, especially the work of publicizing. Sometimes it seems like writing the book was the easy part! People are often surprised to hear this, but it’s true. I had so much to learn about it all and a big adjustment to make with regard to being the face of a book. A new author like myself isn’t terribly media savvy, nor is she oriented that way. After all, writers like to write. Publicize? Not so much. Luckily I had help. My publisher, Connie Shaw at Sentient Publications, gently herded me through getting and accepting interview and review requests and coached me about (among other things) how to do a book tour. She found Sarah Kraft and her staff, who donated the design of a website just for the book. Beth Hayden set up and expertly tutored me about blogging. The women in Boulder Media Women offered sage advice and unconditional, enthusiastic support over coffee, at potlucks, and through the list serve. Hal Zina Bennett, writing mentor extraordinaire, was available at a moment’s notice. Mollie Katzen, friend and veteran published author, advised and cheered me on. My friend Sue Seecof shared her publicity know-how freely. Friends and family stepped forward to help in whatever ways they could. Did you know that these days publishers, especially small publishers, are not able to pay for book tours to other cities? The publisher can arrange bookstore talks, and mine did thank goodness, but upwards of 90% of the costs are borne by the author. I willingly took this on because I wanted to experience a book tour, and the three week trip to the northwest in March was great. I loved it even though it was exhausting. Lots of interesting people and lively discussions. Staff in some of the stores acted like an author is an important person and treated me like royalty! It was sweet. But, it was expensive. Crazy expensive. What’s up with that? Why does a writer have to be a martyr to her own work? It doesn’t make sense. It’s not that I’m naive about the state of non-support of the arts in this country, I’m not. Still, when you really think about it, it’s inane. Hopefully, the situation will improve somehow, though the corporate takeover of the publishing industry looks to be alive and well, so we’ll all have to do the best we can. My particular story continues to unfold. The thought that ideas and principles that I value deeply are also of interest and help to others is extraordinarily affirming. It means so...
Read MoreThe Beauty of Counseling
Underneath the many valid reasons for having an abortion—reasons prompted by necessity and life circumstances—is the pulsing of a new way of being in our lives, a way based on self-respect, autonomy, safety, and equality. — Life Choices (p.11) The word that best sums up what I see in my counseling work is beauty. The beauty of… — engaging in self examination — acting in one’s own interest in spite of being afraid — releasing fear of judgment and punishment — courageously exploring self-limiting ways of being — changing, transforming, and becoming empowered For some women, having an abortion is the catalyst that turns them towards themselves in ways they have never experienced before. A crisis pregnancy can give rise to the need to entirely re-organize the way a woman is living her life. She finds herself needing to question and come to terms with her relationships, her life direction, and the way she sees herself. Why? Because, in the process of turning back a pregnancy there is a convergence of natural forces that opens doors of perception, feeling, and belief. The forces are like those that gather under the earth and move in concert to push a seedling through the ground and up into the light where it can flower in the warmth of the sun, balance in the fluctuations of wind and rain, and come into the fullness of its own being. Each of us is the same as a seedling, though our consciousness is different. Each of us is moved by natural forces to make decisions in our lives that support the fullness of growing into who we really are. The ground from which we push up towards the sky is the darkness of our origination. Our origination is all that we were born from and with, plus the experiences we have accumulated over the course of our lives. These psychological developments occur with many significant life events, but there is something about the work women do around their abortion experiences that is fascinating and phenomenal. It’s worth honoring. It’s the reason I wrote Life Choices. I’d love to hear your thoughts about this. You can comment by clicking on the title of this post, or, if you prefer, just send me an...
Read MoreHonoring The Work of the Goddesses
There is a new play in the world. It’s by poet Annie Finch and is called Among The Goddesses. Annie was kind enough to send it to me to network about our common cause of bringing abortion healing into its legitimate place in life. What a beautiful work of art! It’s on a par with 4000 Years for Choice, Heather Ault’s exquisite art project. I highly recommend you get a copy and see for yourself. The play is built around an epic poem about the archetypical influences in women’s lives. More than anything it’s a journey of personal healing and transformation. Woven through it is the well known goddess chant—Isis, Astarte, Diana, Hecate, Demeter, Kali… Inanna. A couple of weeks ago, I facilitated a discussion for staff from the four states (Colorado, Wyoming, Nevada, and New Mexico) of Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains (PPRM) at their annual regional conference in Denver. There were 24 abortion clinic managers, assistant managers, trainers, and regional managers in the room. The topic (happily for me) was “Honoring The Work We Do In Abortion Services.” I divided the session between talking about the central issues in Life Choices, and working with the thoughts and feelings of the people there about the importance of their work and how they feel about it, themselves, and each other. These are some of the women and men doing the work of the goddesses. They are the ones bringing the wisdom of the feminine—the Divine Feminine— into practice in daily life because they honor the many-sided, complex life and death issues women have to face when they make decisions about reproduction. They take care of women and their families during times of uncertainty. They help women with their doubt, fear, and isolation when they need the help the most. Most of all, they shepherd women into taking full responsibility for their power in life and thus help them to step fully into themselves. Some of these professionals are angry, and rightly so. It’s hard enough to provide good health care services in the current political climate, but on top of the normal challenges of health care they are attacked and vilified on a daily basis. PPRM in Denver is housed in a large, modern, classy looking building that combines their surgical clinic and the administrative offices for the whole region. But you can’t see the building from the street. It is like a fortress, with eight foot high fences surrounding the building at the sidewalk line. Huge black tarps envelope and reinforce the metal barrier so that you can’t see in until you are in front of the double iron gate at the entrance to their spacious parking lot. They are harassed every day and have been for many years by people over-exercising their free speech rights who scream at patients and staff and brandish bloody pictures. Which brings me back to the goddesses. It’s easier to understand the swirl around abortion and why it gives rise to such extraordinary passion if we embrace the divine wisdom realms of insight, power, and love. These realms give us access to a depth of comprehension and courage that crosses the centuries. It allows us to keep on keeping on, through thick and thin, and when all seems lost. The empowerment of women and the feminine is a function of human and planetary evolution. The evolution is a natural movement of universal forces. The rising of the women is everywhere. It shows up in myriad sectors of society—political, religious, and personal, as well as educational, environmental, and social. But the patriarchy is not...
Read MoreThe Book Tour-Real People’s Choices
The book tour for Life Choices came to a close on March 21 after three weeks of travel and talks and signings. A whirlwind to be sure, and one that gave me another glimpse into real people’s choices about their lives. The highlights of the tour were not so much about formal promotional or entrepreneurial activities. We did sell books, which is great, but the high points were more about the encounters I had with a number of individuals each of whom revealed the relevance of the book in the impossible to measure terms of their own real lives. First, there was the woman who was our waitperson at a restaurant in Berkeley. I spent the morning of my first day with my son-in-law, recently laid off from his job, wandering the Cal Berkeley campus in search of the Women’s Studies department. We found it eventually, and the friendly front desk person gladly accepted my academic promo flyers and put one in the mailbox of each instructor. After that we drove the short distance to Rick & Ann’s restaurant to have lunch. She was probably around thirty, strong and centered, healthy and normal looking. She exuded a pleasant competence, the kind of thing that can make the difference between a good or only mediocre lunching experience. She had an openness and genuiness that prompted me to share that I was at the beginning of a book tour. “Oh, what’s the book about?” she asked interestedly. “It’s about women and abortion,” I replied. “Oh, I know something about that,” she responded, with that self-protective, slightly sarcastic tone we reserve for speaking about something that’s hard to talk about. “I was attacked a year and a half ago,” she added. I waited a second. “Are you alright?” She caught her breath and nodded that she was, but tears welled up in her eyes, and she gestured as if to erase something in the air in front of her while saying, “I can’t talk about it, I’m working.” I understood completely, nodded, and gave her a flyer. That way she could find the book if she wants to. If she does read it, I hope it helps her. She thanked me and went to serve another table. “There it is,” I said to David. “There’s the whole reason I’m here. If nothing else happens on this trip, it’ll be worth it.” But other things did happen. A fortyish man arrived at the bookstore in Ashland, Oregon just as I was beginning my talk there. He slumped down into a chair towards the back of the room looking exhausted. Uh oh, I wondered to myself. Is this the one? Am I going to be harassed by some fanatical anti-abortion misogynist? It was my fear talking, the small worry about safety that causes me to be habitually vigilant. As it turned out, I was dead wrong. Completely mistaken. The tired man approached me after the talk and waited patiently while I visited and signed books with other people. Then, it was his turn. He wanted to know if I thought my book might be good for a 17 year old girl he knew who had recently had an abortion and had no support. I said yes, I did think so, and was curious as to his relationship to the situation and to her. He explained that he was a youth worker in rural Siskiyou County and that the girl was part of his program. I felt embarrassed about my earlier fears about him and impressed by his unaffected sincerity and matter of fact caring about the...
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