Inner Work, Resistance, and the Courage to Change
(for new clients)
“If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it’s not your path. Your own path you make with every step you take. That’s why it’s your path.”
Thank you for being willing to turn towards yourself and look within for answers to your life questions. I’m happy to be an ally in your quest for healing. I will do my best to share what I know about counseling, psychotherapy, and how personal healing processes work.
It takes courage to embark on a personal journey of self-examination and change. You are entering into unknown territory and it’s impossible to predict exactly how it will go. My role is to listen carefully and give you insight into the nature of the process from my point of view as a skilled witness. I will support you and help you as best I can.
Counseling and psychotherapy can reveal things to you in unexpected ways. This is because there is a natural progression of patterns of thinking and behavior that come from your life experiences. They reside in the subconscious realms of your psyche. These patterns are usually entrenched and habitual and you are unaware or only partially aware of them. As much as you might want relief from them, they are part of who you think you are. You are accustomed to having them as part of your life and identity. You may not realize how much they are running the show. Through our work together we can find out.
Inner work is exciting and enlivening. The process of discovery and healing is invaluable. It’s like mining for gold. It’s fascinating and sacred.
Inner work is challenging and can be scary. It’s full of surprises. Because of this, your psycho-spiritual system will put the brakes on the process sometimes. This is natural and important to understand. It’s called resistance. I’ll explain.
The part of you that identifies with a problem or disturbance will try to prevent you from doing anything to give it up and change. This might seem counter intuitive, but it isn’t. There is an emotional logic to it. There are two types of resistance. One type is an ally and turns you towards yourself. The other type is a saboteur and turns you away from yourself. The first is helpful; the second not so much.
Resistance as ally is there to titrate and protect. It titrates the pace of your changes to keep them manageable, just like a doctor might carefully regulate the dosage of a strong medicine. One of the most common ways it does this is to slow down the process when it feels like the changes are happening too fast.
Resistance as saboteur takes you away from yourself and from the process. It distracts you from growing and making changes by convincing you that your distress is okay and manageable or that healing is neither important nor a priority. This part of you conspires to keep things the way they are. For example, it will try to convince you that there is something wrong with you for needing therapy and that you’re better off going it alone. This kind of resistance is the main reason it’s so difficult to find solutions and make the changes you seek.
Most resistance happens under the radar of your awareness. In other words, you don’t realize it’s happening. Because this is the way it works, I encourage you to bring up your questions and fears with me so we can flush out the truth of what is going on and find out what will be most helpful.
The urge to heal, change, and grow is natural for all life forms on the earth, including humans. Thank you for your interest and willingness to follow your path wherever it takes you.